Would you change?

So I am sitting here watching an episode of Criminal Minds and It had a strong message of forgiveness. It also led you to the thought If something bad happened to you or to your family or friends, would you change those things if you could. I have thought about life decisions and where it has brought me in life. I think yes I made mistakes and bad decisions but people have been able to forgive me for those mistakes. It is part of life the word mistake.

We look at a mistake and we normally cannot correct the mistakes we made. Only time we can do that is when we decide to correct a spelling mistake or something like changing an answer on a test. But life mistakes we cannot go back and change. Those mistakes though are what has made us who we are. Holding grudges for others mistakes eventually has to stop and we have to think where would we be if those people had not made mistakes against us? Would we still be who we are, or have met the people we have met?

My son often comes to me and asks why did you marry mom? Let me explain this
His mother and I have been divorced many years now. Out of our relationship has come three beautiful children, 2 daughters and a son. I love all of them just as equally. I go back and I think what if I would not have married her, but then my thoughts go to my kids. I would not have had them if it were not for my Ex-wife. I do not completely ever blame her for the divorce as it takes two to not get along. We both made mistakes in order to get divorced. As much as I say it was her fault there were times I should have known better than to argue, or sometimes walk away and not talk. At one point I must have loved her dearly enough to have children with her. But the answer to my son was if it were not for your mother and I getting married you would not be around.

I had an accident when I was 18, and I tried to tell myself over and over, If I just would not have exceeded the speed limit. I would not have hit the telephone pole I hit and I still might be with one of my high school sweethearts. But who knows where that would have led for me? I mean we could have possibly been together awhile longer or stayed together. Only God knows honestly what would have happened?

I know there are absolutely some things I would have never changed ever my kids being one of them. But I come back and think on an incident back when I was in 6th Grade my Brother was in 7th. I may have been a small little twerp at that time. But I watched my brother get bullied and made fun of over and over again. I finally had decided enough was enough one day. As we were standing outside the school this kid Steve decided to come up say something and spit gum at my Brother. At that point I let my anger boil over and I grabbed Steve spun him and threw him against the brick wall and hit his head off that brick. Yes maybe it was a bit aggressive, but those kids never ever bothered my brother from that day on. Occasionally they would pass me in the hall and say something like hey its the twerp who has to defend his older brother under their breath. I would turn towards them look and they would walk away fast with their heads hung low.

So we all have a calling, and every choice we have made bad, or good has a purpose. We may not see that purpose until much later on but their is always a purpose. We may not even see that purpose while we are on this earth. But someday someone someday will tell stories or tell of how we inspired them. I have a few friends one in particular who inspire me everyday. I hope she knows who she is. Just like Both my parents have inspired me although I probably do not say it enough to them I truly love these people who inspire me.


What would you miss?


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So I am reading a book called station eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. About a pandemic called the Georgia Flu that nearly wipes out mankind. Behind is left abandoned places, with no electricity, or running water etc… She poses an interesting question in the book. If this really happened and we had limited resources, and we were forced to use horses, hunt and scrounge for water clothing etc… What would you miss most.

I am really not sure what I would miss most. Today everything is stored in modern forms of media such as computers. People really do not go to the library, or take photographs put them in albums. I think I would miss forms of visual stimulation such as photographs. Photographs tell the stories of where we have been, who we are and were. They tell most of our modern history. I am sure we would eventually lose visual forms of art to vandals and thieves. What would be left are the images in our heads.

We would lose most modern music and have to rely on what instruments we had left to entertain. We would rely on the old fashioned play, no more television, or going on YouTube for entertainment. We would have storytellers again, people who would tell stories of the past we would have to rely on their memories to provide us some of our human history. I am sure some of us would probably lose the skills to read or write to communicate.

I would probably miss being able to travel where you wanted to go on a whim and seeing friends and talking to friends from distances. We would not have cellular phones or Skype. We would not be able to just turn a key and go visit those friends when we want to. We would have to go back to letter writing and delivery services such as the Pony Express again. I would miss everyday conversation quite a bit. Really we do not know how lucky we are to be able to use phones, and social media to keep up with what is going on with our friends.

We would probably miss going shopping for the goods we need. We would have to learn new skills to survive, We would not be able to go to Walmart or the Mall to get clothing, or food or supplies we need for everyday living. We would have to learn to hunt, fish, sew and make items we needed to even travel from place to place. We would have to fabricate parts we needed for wagons etc…


Being able to go to a ballgame with my kid, or take them places like amusement parks. We would not be able to do any of that anymore. our entertainment would be limited, and we would again have to rely on old forms of entertainment that would probably be very new to most of the modern generations who have probably never even been to a play for entertainment.

Anyways just a few thoughts as into how life might be had we lost everything we know. What would you miss most?

My Daughter Graduates 8th Grade Tonight!


So today I am a proud father of an 8th Grade Graduate for a second time, last year at this time my oldest became an 8th grade graduate, and now its my middle child, and my second daughter. It seems like just yesterday I was holding her, and looking into her eyes for the very first time. My daughter has been one of my pride, and joys. Next year she moves on to become a freshman in high school. I am so proud of her, she has become an amazing person, and has become a great clarinet player, and also sings in chorus.

I was the first to gaze into her beautiful eyes the day she was born. My daughter was bornĀ  a month premature, and was a little over 5 pounds at birth. She was a tiny little thing, and still is. She has never let her size stop her, or get in her way. She has learned to be an amazing cook to. We have had many good moments together, from holding her, to her teaching me, yes you heard that right she has taught me a few things, but the one thing she taught me last year was how to use an open faced reel while fishing!.

I think my kids are the most amazing kids in the world!!! I could write, and write about my daughter, but I just want her to know that I love her, and am VERY, VERY PROUD OF HER!!!.

The beauty of my children!…



So I have been thinking all week about what I was going to write about, and I was drawing a blank. So after I had some issues with an aunt who thought she was my kids mother, I decided to write about the most important thing in my life. Besides Photography, the most important thing to me is my Children.

Although my children are slowly growing out of Childhood, they growing into teenagers, and young wonderful adults.

I never thought when I was a teenager I would be a father as young as I was. When I was 15, and 16 years old my dreams were to become a baseball star, because I was always a great baseball player. When I was 18 or so I met my soon to be wife,, and although things did not work out between us, I will always have a place in my heart because she is my childrens mother.

We had our first Daughter Amanda when I was 21 years old. She was born with a full curly head of hair, and the biggest chubby cheeks you have ever seen. She has become the most amazingly talented young woman, she is growing up to be. Amanda has played tee-ball, soccer, and now in High School she is playing softball on her freshman team, and has learned to become a switch hitter in softball. She has amazed me with some of her interests, and some of the things she has accomplished. I am so proud to be her father, although now most of the time when she is here with me she pays more attention to her Ipod than anything else. Yet she has taught me so much, like I did not know that Shakespeare used male actors for female roles in his plays she taught me that.

My Daughter Brianna is my second daughter, and I think I protect her the most because there were some issues when my Ex- Wife was Pregnant with her. She was born a month prematurely, at a little over 5 pounds. When she was born I remember Crying, I was so happy she was finally here, and although the doctors said she was going to be a boy, she turned out to be a beautiful baby girl. We named her Brianna, because my name is Brian. She is Graduating 8th grade this year, and again I am so proud of her. There are times she will be talking to her grandfather my dad, and she will say something that amazes us!. My dad always asks ” What wisdom is Brianna gonna give us today?”. She has played soccer and although she has not been much into sports like me, or her sister, and Brother, she has accomplished alot with her school band, and Chorus. I am so proud to have a daughter like her, and I am always there for her. She is my emotional girl, and gets hurt easy. When this happens she always wants a hug from Me.

Then there is Connor. He is my wild child, and can talk your head off. He is also my picky eater still,but he is slowly growing out of that. When he was born he was my first boy,and that is what we were trying for. I stayed up all night while waiting for him to be born. He has grown up to become a great boy, and although most of his interests are his Xbox, Star Wars, and football I will always try to listen although sometimes I do get irritated by the same things I hear everytime!!! SMILES!!!. He started 2 years ago with Flag football where he could outrun about every player on his team. Last year was his first year in tackle football, and he played corner all year he never complained once although sometimes he would know he was hurt he loved it. This year will be his second year in tackle football. He also plays violin for his school band. I am proud of all his amazing accomplishments.

So now you all know about my amazing kids, and I want to end this Blog with a letter my daughter Brianna wrote me in 2011.

Dear Dad,

In Language arts class we are learning to write letters. We have also been talking about people we are thankful for. I chose you, because you’re awesome, and smart.

You’re awesome because you were one of the first people to hold me, and look at me. When I got older, you helped me if I cried, was hurt, or just needed company. I remember when I was bout six years old. I got sick, and had to be taken care of. You helped me until mom took me to the hospital. Thank you!

I love that your nice to me because sometimes no one else is. I remember when I was younger,and I got hurt. You took me to the kitchen, and helped me make different things, like meat, or eggs. I still remember how to make them, Thank you!.

Sometimes I like when you’re smart, because you will help me with my homework, and other times you will just joke around. But you are always smart, even if you are joking around. Thank You!.

Thank you for being such an awesome, smart, and nice person. You have changed my life by always being there for me. If you were not here, I would miss you.




Americana, and the icons that represent us!


I have always been a fan of American Nostalgia, and what better way to start a blog today than talk about America. Today April 15 , 2013 We as a nation were once again attacked on our own soil. Yet we do not know whether it was a terrorist attack, or a person just trying to gain notoriety by doing something that would harm innocent people. These actions will be vindicated by our government, and its citizens. We as a people have always realized certain things keep this country together, and remembering our past is one of them. Tonight I present an image I took last summer at a car show in Gurnee, Illinois. Chevrolet is an Icon from the late 50’s and 60’s. Chevrolet represents strength in American engineering something we have always been proud of.

We as a nation have never backed down to any terrorist act, and we will not start now. It is nights like these I feel like putting on an old Black, and White film, and feeling the comfort of our past. Things from the past are like comfort food. Stuff like the Drive-in Theater, Classic cars, or something as simple as a McDonald’s Hamburger. I have always loved the 50’s it was a simpler era, although the United States still had problems, we were heading towards better days. Yes we had war, but we didn’t have to worry about countries sending a nuclear warhead over. We had to worry about Equal rights for the African-American community, and today we are in a similar battle for gay equality, and rights. We need to do the right things. We need to take a stand for what is right like Equal rights. We will not stand for Terrorist Acts on our soil. We as a brother, and sisterhood should protect each other, and not hate.

I say the word We to even mean a world wide peace. We should respect each others Religions, Beliefs, and Qualities, without having to have a war because you believe we should be like you, or vice-verse. I want to see my children grow up in a world where people are equal, where war is not a thought anymore, and where they don’t have to worry what will happen to their children. I am sick of hearing one religion is better than what I believe in, or that we hate you because you are free. This has to stop, so tonight lets sit down remember our past to accomplish a better future. Watch an old movie, go through old photos, or even just sit with your family and talk about the way things used to be!. You might be surprised and learn something new.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really hope you enjoy, and pass this on tonight!. God Bless the people who lost their lives today at the Boston Marathon, and God Bless those who were their and got injured to. We pray for all those involved from those injured to those who helped!!